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Orange Lantern | by Alex Pardee & Greg "Craola" Simkins | T Shirt

$20.00 / On Sale

"The Orange Lantern"
Designed by Alex Pardee & Greg "Craola" Simkins.
Printed on Black American Apparel Mens Tee.

The following story is printed on the INSIDE of the shirt:
The Story of The Orange Lantern, as told by Alex & Greg:
Piles of hay created an elaborate maze with large costumed sentries guarding the entrance of Mrs Cottone’s Pumpkin Patch.
They looked like carnival prizes from years past: noses falling off and black button eyes staring blankly.
But today they seemed even a bit more menacing. Jackson O’Malley shuttered as he quickened his step past them.
”Ummmff!” Jackson grunted as he fell to the ground tripping over a rather stubborn branch.
Or WAS it a branch?
Looking up, Jackson laid his eyes upon what must have
been the ugliest, oldest withered scarecrow he had ever seen.
Its putrid and sunken head looked like it must have been left over
from last year’s crop of pumpkins, and a nice family
of beetles were having their way with its rotted skin as beetles often do.
On further inspection, something odd stood out to Jaded Jackson.
He hadn’t tripped over a branch or a root, but rather a curled up withered claw,
and it was grasping at something. In its rigor-mortised grip
was an orange ring with some odd symbols on it.
“Well this is my lucky day”, thought Jackson as he broke the ring clear of the grasping claw.
“I’ll just add this to my collection of Weird Things From the Pumpkin Patch”.
That collection didn’t really exist, however. This was actually the oddest thing
he had encountered at Mrs. Cottone’s Pumpkin Patch in all of the years he had been
kicking off his Autumn and coming here
A strange warmth pulsed through the ring as he held it,
and as he slipped it over his finger two things happened.
The fallen scarecrow’s head abruptly shifted his gaze at the boy and a wicked grin
grew across the face of the scarecrow. Then immediately,
Jackson bent over vomiting in horrific pain.
Pumpkin seeds, alongside the gooey lining of the gourd that fills the sink
as it’s carved each October, seemed to leap endlessly out of his mouth and nose.
Then…all went black.
When he awoke, the pumpkin patch was bathed in darkness.
All the guests had seemingly left to return to their T.V. trays and their nightly
Wheel of Fortune on the Zenith. Even the scarecrow, which had caused this strange
hallucination earlier, was gone. Weirder yet, it appeared as though someone had switched
his clothes with the scarecrows. “Perverts”, he thought, “who would take the time to slip my clothes off and put these filthy tights on me.
I hope no one took secret photos. I won’t here the end of it”.
He said the latter part out of this thought out loud but his voice was labored,
as one seed from his earlier puke-fest still remained lodged in his throat.
As he swallowed it so as not to give in completely to the desires of his bitter bowels,
a little crackling voice whispered inside his ear: “Please…come over here”.
“What!?”
“It wasn’t a question. Come over here NOW!”
As Jackson approached his reflection in the window of an abandoned trailer,
led somehow by an inner-ear-navigator, things quickly became clear.
He threw up his hand in pain as a bright glow shot past him!
Dodging the blast, the source of his inner driver began throbbing in pain,
and as the bad seed he had swallowed just minutes ago grew inside of him,
it burst through side of Jackson’s now-pumpkinesque face,
fiercely displaying the new tormented duality of …
“The Orange Lantern”!